Somebody To Die For
by Lily Anna Evans Potter
Summary: April 1980: The First Wizarding War is in full swing. The Marauders can't fool themselves anymore that their world is on anything but the path to destruction and Lily Potter must live with that knowledge while pregnant with a child marked for death. And through the daily terror, the tragedies keep on coming. Jily, Sirius / OC friendship, aftermath of Marlene's death / Blackinnon.
1. Somebody To Die For

**Somebody To Die For**

The earliest rays of spring sunlight warmed his back as Sirius Black leaned lazily against the windowsill of the Potters' kitchen window. Across the room, his best friend's five months pregnant wife was busily gathering baking ingredients. "Are you sure you don't want a hand, Lils?" he asked when she tugged open the fridge and frowned at its sparse contents. She winced when one of the refrigerator drawers shot open and banged against her swollen shins. "Should you even be on your feet right now?"

Lily whirled around with a scowl on her face, even before she saw his wand pointing at the offending drawer. "I am still perfectly capable of hexing you, Black," she warned him. "Give it a rest already, I just want to bake."

"Give what a rest, Evans?" Sirius raised his eyebrows with an innocent grin that fooled no one. He pointed his wand at the open fridge and levitated a bottle of milk to the counter with a casual flick of his wrist. Lily's emerald green eyes widened in horror as they followed the path of the glass bottle until it landed safely on the countertop.

"That, for example," she said pointedly. "You'll break something in a minute, you show off."

"You insult me, Evans," he scolded playfully. "I won't drop anything, just watch this." At his words, the cupboard above Lily's head opened wide and she ducked as a plastic bowl went whizzing towards Sirius from inside it. He held out the hand not guiding the utensil with his wand to catch it, a cocky grin etched on his face. Seconds before the bowl was within arms' reach, the fake Galleon nestled in Sirius' pocket emanated an unbearable burst of heat. His gasp of horror was masked by the clatter when the bowl crashed to the floor.

"I knew it." Lily shook her head at him in exasperation. "That was bound to happen." Bending down carefully to pick up the bowl, she missed his pained expression as he extracted the coin quickly and stared at it. The Galleons were an invention of Dumbledore's, an alternative method of sending out distress calls if conjuring a Patronus should ever be impossible. "Padfoot?" Lily was watching him in concern now, the baking forgotten. "What is it?"

"Trouble," said Sirius shortly. "It's a summons for backup, not even a direct distress call…this is bad." He tucked the coin back in his pocket and forced a smile to sway her terrified grimace. "Say hi to Prongs, alright? I've gotta go!"

"Be careful, Sirius," said the redhead pleadingly and he pulled her into a quick hug.

"I won't let Prongslet miss out on the teachings of his coolest uncle, Lils," he promised. "Look at it this way, no more disturbances with your baking, right?" His grip on her shaking fingers tightened for a split second and then there was a pop and her hand was grasping at thin air.

Lily tried to concentrate on her baking after Sirius disappeared, but her heart was no longer in it. She couldn't deny anymore that all this pretence of homeliness was just a lame attempt to bury her helpless feelings of fear and concern. There was no escape from the terror when their friends were out in combat on any Order missions, worry might as well have lodged itself permanently in her chest for how hard it was to breathe sometimes. Lily doubted somehow even the baby growing inside her had very much to do with that constant symptom. To fight through her scared thoughts, she began to mix the cake's ingredients as hard as she could and was glad when her excessive noise brought heavy footsteps thumping down the hall.

"What's with the racket, Lils?" James asked, sweeping into the room with one hand ruffling his uncontrollable mass of jet-black hair out of habit. "What are you doing in here?" He approached the counter and sniffed the chocolatey batter appreciatively. "Oh, that smells so good. Hate to break it to you, but my birthday was four days ago." He wrapped his arms around her expanding belly and slowly spun her to face him. "Fabulous outfit by the way."

"Well good, because this isn't actually for you, you prat." The teasing diss rolled off her tongue with the ease of habit, because showing how glad she was to have his arms around her felt like admitting her fear to herself. So instead she looked up and down the messy counter in dismay. "Where the hell did my perfectly measured flour go? I swear baking with Sirius around is asking for trouble."

"Padfoot was here?" James interrupted. "How did I miss that? He's not exactly subtle."

"You can say that again," Lily agreed, pushing back the folded sleeves of the oversized Gryffindor Quidditch jersey she was wearing. "He was here, being a nuisance I might add…then there was a distress call from one of the Order members."

"Of course there was," James sighed and tugged her into a protective embrace. "Did he say who?"

"There was no time," said Lily sadly. "What does the Daily Prophet say today?"

"The usual, loaded with killings and disappearances," he replied darkly. "I know it's for our protection but I really hate being so useless when our friends are out there fighting."

"I know, honey." The frustration in his tone made Lily feel almost as despairing. "It must really suck to be stuck with my fat ass around the clock, after all. I couldn't find a thing to wear that looked half-way decent today, as you can see."

"Don't you dare insult the sacred jersey, Lilykins," he gasped in mock-horror. "You look totally hot, if I do say so myself."

"It smells like you," she said fondly. "I quite like it, much better fit than most of my clothes."

"Much," James nodded, grinning when her back arched against his wandering palms. "You are a tease, Evans, you know that?"

"That's Potter to you, mister." Lily smiled against his smooth lips and gave in to his hungry kiss for a moment. "Hey, do you want to help me with this baking?"

James peered over her shoulder at the light brown batter in the abandoned mixing bowl. "Muggle baking?" he asked with a disgusted grimace. "Seriously, Lils?"

"Come on, James," she pouted shamelessly, twirling a strand of dark red hair around her finger. "It helps me not to worry so much about our friends fighting out there. Please?"

"That face of yours should be illegal," he grumbled as a wide grin spread across his wife's face and she pulled him towards the counter. "What is this for anyway? We've already established my birthday was four days ago."

"I repeat, not your cake," Lily reminded him, shaking her head in exasperation. "The Weasley twins turn two tomorrow. I know Molly is a miracle worker in that kitchen of hers but considering she had another a month ago, a little gesture couldn't hurt."

"Two already?" he marvelled. "Merlin, time flies…I don't know how she and Arthur do it with so many kids considering the state of things."

"Yeah," Lily agreed softly and a crease appeared on her forehead as her hands cradled her own baby bump. "I was talking to Alice the other day; we're both so terrified to just bring one child each into the world as it is right now. Frank still goes out on Order assignments, I'm just thankful with the prophecy hanging over our heads I don't have to worry about you out there that way."

"Hey, stop that," he said firmly and Lily exhaled slowly to dissolve the painful lump swelling in her throat, while James' thumb stroked her cheek soothingly.

"Stupid hormones," she moaned and let the folded sleeves of the oversized jersey unravel so that the fabric fell over her shaking palms. "Gryffindors are supposed to be braver than this."

"Brave doesn't mean fearless," James pointed out. The floppy sleeves draped over his shoulders as Lily leaned against his tall frame. "What exactly are you doing with my jersey, babe?"

"I'm trapping you," Lily mumbled, sliding her arms around his neck. James could see that her emerald-green eyes were squeezed shut, as if in denial of their dark circumstances. "So that just for a minute, we can pretend the world is safe and just…be."

"Do I win the competition for your heart against the giant squid now?" he joked and Lily smacked the shoulder she wasn't leaning against. "There's my feisty girl."

"No contest, you dork," she said. "The giant squid can find someone else, I'm perfectly happy right here."

"Glad to hear it," James replied and squeezed her a little tighter than strictly necessary. "I'll die before I let anyone hurt you, Lils, I swear."

"Don't you dare even say that!" his wife protested sharply and this time when she thumped her fist against his chest, James winced.

"Alright fine, I won't say it, easy tiger," he said, taking a step back with his hands in the air. The spatula Lily had grabbed from the counter quivered in her grasp as she aimed it at him with a scowl. "What is this, murder by spatula?"

"You suck," Lily grimaced, sticking the spatula back in the mixing bowl before it could drip melted chocolate all over the floor. "Can we just get this cake done, please?"

"I love you too, Lilykins," James smirked after her back was turned, but as soon as he reached for the carton of eggs there was a series of loud popping noises from the yard. "Oh no," he muttered under his breath and the fear that clouded Lily's bright eyes in an instant made his heart ache. Visitors after a distress call from anyone in the Order usually only meant one thing: casualties.

 **A / N This was something I started in October 2014 because that's THE month for Jily and then it just got forgotten. After publishing my first HP fic in five years earlier today it felt like a good time to try this again xx**


	2. Trouble Is A Friend

**Trouble Is A Friend**

 _Earlier that day_

"Hannah, I'm trying to study over here, be quiet," Marlene McKinnon snapped at her ten year old sister. With the exception of her little sister, Marlene's entire family had been wiped out by Voldemort's supporters when she was still in school. Still only twenty years old, Hannah was her whole world now but that didn't mean it was easy. Quite the opposite most days actually, now that she was part of the resistance against the dark magic growing stronger each day.

The younger girl stared longingly out the window at the fields surrounding their home in the countryside. Fingers pressed against the glass, she turned to gaze pleadingly at Marlene, who was poring over defensive tactics at the kitchen table. "But Marley, I'm bored," she whined. "It's such a beautiful day, why do we have to stay indoors?"

"Because it's dangerous," said Marlene shortly. "Anything could happen out there, you have to be careful right now."

"Careful is no fun," Hannah pouted, even though her sister wasn't even looking up anymore. "I can't wait to go to school next year."

"You'll love it," Marlene promised her. "Hogwarts is really wonderful but for that to even be possible you really need to let me concentrate right now."

"So does that mean I can go outside?" said Hannah hopefully and her sister rolled her eyes half-heartedly.

"You just don't quit, do you? Fine, if you promise not to wander too far you can go. Make some daisy chains or something."

"Mum used to love those," said Hannah sadly. "I'll make one just for her."

"That sounds great. Remember, don't go too far!" The ten year old waved over her shoulder in acknowledgement, already bounding out the door in her eagerness for some time in the fresh air.

Much as she had needed the silence to focus on her studies, once her sister was out of the house Marlene felt a sense of uneasiness gripping her heart like an icy fist. She found herself turning pages aimlessly without absorbing any of the information and finally strolled over to the window to try and see what Hannah was up to. The little girl was kneeling in the long grass, plucking the wild daisies as she had said she would. Marlene smiled at the sight, but just when she was about to turn back to the books, a shadowy figure caught her eye in the distance and she froze. For the briefest second she tried to convince herself she was seeing things because she had been studying so hard and was tired, but then more ominously cloaked figures popped up beside the first one: Death Eaters.

Marlene sprang into action, lunging for her wand just as the clear blue skies outside turned a smoky green. She jabbed her wand at the fake Galleon from the Order on the table, but the burst of heat it gave off was a small comfort: Help could not arrive soon enough. Without a second to waste, the blonde turned and ran into the garden, which had gone from safe haven to battlefield in seconds. "Hannah!" she screamed, catching sight of the girl crouched in the grass, apparently frozen in fear. "Run!"

A maniacal cackle made her blood run cold even before the Terrible Twins as the Order called them blocked her view of Hannah. Twenty-five year old Jennifer and Anna Mariano were the older sisters of Daniel Parker, who had reverted to his mother's maiden name when his father walked out on her when he was just seven. "Well that's not very nice," sneered Anna, the fuller-figured of the twins. Her bright red lipstick glistened like blood on her lips as she leered at Marlene. "We just came out to have some fun and we feel so attacked right now. Don't we, Jenny?"

"Yes we do," her sister agreed. "Oh man, I hope our little brother puts in an appearance. It's always such fun to watch him squirm."

"Let's start the fun with this creature, at least," said Anna, fingering her wand lovingly. "We're going to wipe you bloody McKinnons out properly this time. That'll teach you to cross the Dark Lord."

"Does he pay you to make those threatening speeches for him?" taunted Marlene, her inner Gryffindor bursting forth to give her sister time to try and make an escape. The tall grass rustled behind the two sisters circling her like prey and she prayed it was Hannah moving away from the danger.

"I've been asking myself that question for years." The male voice startled Marlene so much that she barely noticed Nora and Jessica Parker hurtling towards the creepy gathering from the Apparition point at the edge of the property. "You sure know how to attract trouble, McKinnon."

"Well if it isn't Danny boy?" said Anna with an unpleasant grimace. "And the whole crew, shame on you little brother. What kind of wizard needs two girls to have his back?"

"I don't know, why don't you ask your pal Travers?" Daniel retorted, facing the two girls who had turned their backs on his family with courage that came from standing in between his cousins. The elder of the two, Nora, grinned proudly at him although her wand remained raised in her clenched fist. On his other side Jessica placed her hand on Marlene's shoulder, holding the girl up as fear for Hannah made her knees knock together.

"Did someone say my name?" came a gruff voice from somewhere in the tall grass. Piers Travers glided towards them, smirking triumphantly as he dragged Hannah along behind him by her long blonde hair. He warded off the curse Marlene hurled at him with ease and shoved Hannah to the ground at Anna's feet. "I caught this one trying to run. These people really don't know the rules of our game, how sad." He raised his palm in Marlene's direction and stroked the long scar running across it. "I owe you a show for this baby, McKinnon. We're not in a merciful mood today, you have been warned."

"You wouldn't know mercy if it hit you between the eyeballs, Travers," hissed Nora and glancing at her Daniel saw the same desire for revenge in her deep blue eyes as the twins always ignited in him. Three years ago his father Jasper and the two corrupted girls had been responsible for a massacre on Nora's wedding day. Neither her fiancé nor any of their parents had survived the ambush and he had seen the bookish girl harden her heart against the world spiralling into darkness ever since.

"Hmm, you're probably right about that, Parker. Hence the warning," said Travers casually. "We're here to party and you know better than most just how we like to do things, don't you?"

"Enough talk, Travers," groaned Jennifer, reaching for Hannah with surprising strength in her skinny arms. Her fingernails dug into the little girl's quivering shoulder as she pinned her to the ground. "You wanna do the honours, Anna?"

"I thought you'd never ask," said Anna, drawing up to her full impressive height. The cluster of protective spells the Order members tried to throw over her shoulder were easily blocked by Jennifer and Travers as Anna shrieked; "Crucio!"

Hannah's screams would stay with her as long as she lived, Marlene knew as she wrenched away from Jessica's soothing grip and charged towards Anna. "Get off her, you bitch!"

"Why don't you make me?" the Death Eater challenged her with a superior grin. Hannah had gone limp after just minutes of the Cruciatus Curse and Anna shook her head. "How disappointing, what a weak little thing. I guess it's your turn now."

"Like hell it is," growled another voice and Marlene could have wept with relief. "The only one going down here is you, Mariano."

"I knew Bella should have come along to this party," simpered Anna. "Long time no see, Black."

"Not long enough." Sirius stepped into the spot next to Marlene that Jessica had vacated when Hannah was being cursed. "You alright, Marley?"

Before Marlene could tell him that just having him next to her eased the terror making it hard to breathe, there was an urgent scream from across the field. "Marley, Hannah's not breathing!"

With those four words, Marlene felt something in her very core collapse. To her left Daniel and Nora were engaged in a vicious duel with Jennifer and Travers, but she barely noticed the deadly flashes of light flying back and forth. Before Sirius could react, she ran straight towards Anna who was laughing triumphantly.

The Death Eater whipped around with a glint in her beady eyes when she saw Marley hurtling towards her. "Let's finish this once and for all, McKinnon," she snarled, looking more like a vampire than a witch. Marlene was blinded by a mix of horrified grief and rage so intense she couldn't even muster a curse. Before she could reach the girl who had hurt her reason for living, Anna raised her wand and bellowed; "Sectumsempra!"

When the dark incantation reached their ears, Jennifer and Travers abandoned their duel with Daniel and Nora. With a flick of their black cloaks, they popped back to either side of Anna so it almost looked like nothing had even happened. "Smooth move, sissy," said Jennifer appreciatively. "That'll finish her off nice and slowly. Are we done here? Danny put up a good fight today, it's annoying me. Let's go already; we'll slam the family another time."

The twins glowered across the field at their brother and Nora, who both returned the look of loathing with equal intensity. All three Death Eaters spared Jessica and Sirius a gloating smirk, who were both leaning over Marlene in a patch of blood-stained grass. Then there was a resounding cracking noise as the evil trio Disapparated and vanished.

 **A / N Getting back to an HP fic after so many years feels so good, I'm not even sure where this is headed but thoroughly enjoying finding out. The OC's have been revived from my five year old HP fics, enjoy all xx**


	3. Holding On And Letting Go

**Holding On And Letting Go**

From the moment he heard Anna hurl the deadly curse at Marlene, Sirius felt like everything was moving in slow motion. He didn't even notice when the Death Eaters departed, the only thing that mattered was reaching the girl he loved as she crumpled in the tall grass. Her blood rapidly soaked his robes and matted her blonde hair into thick clumps, but it had no specific discernible source.

"Hold on, Marley," he begged when her head began to feel heavy in his lap. "Stay with me, please." Sirius Black was not one to cry, but when a bubble of blood blossomed on her lips the moment Marlene tried to speak, he couldn't hold back the terrified tears. He carefully pushed her into a sitting position and knelt behind her to prop her up, hoping it would make it easier to breathe. Already her breathing was laboured and rattled in her chest, barely easing up when he gently rubbed her back. "You're gonna be okay." Her pale green eyes drooped shut but when he had her upright, Marlene coughed roughly and another gush of bright red blood came shooting out of her mouth. "Damn it," Sirius moaned, for attempting to stem the flow was fruitless when the injuries were so clearly internal.

He barely even noticed that Jessica was kneeling at Marlene's feet now, until the brunette stared across at him with a grim expression. "She needs the hospital," she said urgently. Sirius looked up at her in a daze, so focussed on the colour draining rapidly from Marlene's cheeks that he didn't even notice Jessica hadn't been addressing him at all.

He glanced over his shoulder and felt the sinking sensation in his stomach intensify at the sight of Daniel cradling Hannah still unconscious in his arms. The little girl's head lolled against his shoulder and Daniel was exchanging a worried look with Nora, who stood beside him as always. "They both do," he agreed with Jessica in an equally grim voice. "I just sent off a Patronus messenger to St. Mungo's, one of the interns there was Head Girl with me. She's a good friend and can get us help faster. I'll take Hannah, can you two handle Marlene?"

"Yeah," Jessica nodded and Sirius was grateful that she had somehow sensed he was too numb to respond. "We'll be right behind you, go quickly!" Daniel didn't need telling twice; in seconds he and Nora Disapparated with Hannah, leaving Jessica staring at Sirius in concern. "Are you hurt too? That's a hell of a lot of blood, Sirius."

Sirius shook his head mutely; "All hers," he whispered and stood up carefully, clutching Marlene's body to his chest. It was still warm and he had every intention of keeping it that way. "She can't die on me, Jessie…she can't!"

"I know," said Jessica softly, not even attempting to help support Marlene between them. The look on Sirius' face dared her to even try and touch their wounded friend so instead she just gave him a sympathetic grimace. "Come on, let's go."

After the brief discomfort of Apparition the bustle of St. Mungo's assaulted Sirius' senses. He spotted Daniel and Nora almost immediately, standing beside a gurney holding Hannah's body. The little girl looked so peaceful she could have been sleeping, but his fellow Order members' serious faces as they filled the young blonde Healer in on the attack told a different story. "Oh Merlin," the girl gasped when she spotted Sirius holding Marlene's limp body in his arms. "You weren't kidding, this is really bad." With a wave of her wand she summoned another stretcher and watched Sirius carefully lay Marlene down on it. "We'll need to get her up to the blood transfusions centre immediately."

Beckoning to one of her co-workers to follow with Hannah, the blonde whisked Marlene away. Daniel and Nora were immersed in a whispered conversation as she disappeared, but with the gurneys out of sight, Sirius suddenly felt like he might collapse, throw up or even both. It was as if nothing existed anymore except the keen awareness of Marlene's blood all over him, his palms stained and robes soaked a darkening red now that it was no longer fresh.

The nearest bathroom wasn't far off and Sirius lurched in the direction the signs were pointing, ducking into the visitors' men's room just before a complete panic attack took hold. He turned on the tap of the sink with trembling fingers and splashed the cold water on his face first. It didn't help much and in desperation Sirius began to scrub his hands so hard the skin turned pink and raw. He was staring into his own grey eyes in the mirror, the reflection showing the turmoil he felt, when he heard footsteps and whipped around.

"Sirius, are you okay?" Jessica stood near the door, her blue eyes shining with an unbearable combination of sympathy and pain. Her gaze was drawn almost immediately to his knuckles, scrubbed so hard that it almost looked as if he had punched someone with his bare hands. "What the hell are you doing in here?"

"Her blood," he whispered, feeling more nauseous the longer he stared at his smarting palms. "It's everywhere. I should've gotten there sooner and taken that psycho bitch Anna down, I just…"

"Don't even go there, mate," Jessica urged him, cutting off the guilt-ridden speech before it could pick up steam. "Take it from somebody unfortunately related to those crazy bitches, there's no stopping Anna once she decides to end someone. Those girls ruined Nora's life three years ago; I know exactly what they're capable of. Marlene was never going to let them hurt Hannah, you know that. This is not your fault!"

"She can't die on me, Jessie," he echoed his words from the battlefield because they really said it all. Desperation the likes of which she had never seen from him shone in his eyes, heartbreakingly raw anguish and fear. "I love her so much."

"Then stop beating yourself up in here and go see how she's doing," Jessica pointed out, stating the obvious but sounding exceptionally wise to him just the same. "I think Nora stayed with Hannah just in case she wakes up, neither of the girls is in good shape. I think you should prepare yourself, I'm just saying."

"Well can you not?" he retorted sharply. "They need to be okay, that's all there is to it!" On that wave of denial he swept out of the restroom, leaving Jessica staring after him more convinced than ever that this day would end in unbearable heartbreak all around.

When he reached the floor where the blood transfusions took place, Sirius found Daniel and his Healer friend talking in ominously low voices. "Sirius, there you are," said Daniel, looking relieved to see him. "Jess went tearing off looking for you when you did a runner. Is everything okay?"

"Not even close to okay," Sirius told him dully. "The girl I love is going to die, isn't she?"

Daniel shot the blonde Healer a helpless look and she stepped forward, this was all in a day's work for her. "Hi Sirius, I'm Carla Andrews," she introduced herself. "Hogwarts Head Girl of 1976 with this knucklehead." She gestured over her shoulder at Daniel, who was giving her an offended pout. "I've been taking care of Marlene and her sister since you guys brought them in. I'm going to be honest with you; it doesn't look good at all. That curse the Death Eaters use does more damage the more genuinely it's meant. Knowing Danny's bitch of a sister Anna, she really wanted Marlene to suffer. We've been transfusing like crazy but it's like the internal bleeding is permanent. There's not a lot we can do except keep her comfortable until her body gives up, I'm afraid. I am so sorry it's not better news."

Daniel took a step forward at the devastated look on Sirius' face, but the Marauder raised a hand to ward him off. He would not fall apart in front of them, he vowed even though the effort it took not to break down made his eyes burn. "Can I see her?" he begged, forcing himself to at least look into Carla's eyes at the request for the sake of good manners. The blonde pointed at a sliding door off to one side of the long hallway and Sirius found his feet feeling as heavy as if they were made of lead when it came down to the moment he had been waiting for. With every step he had flashbacks of Marlene crumpling to the ground when Anna's curse hit, the eternity it took to reach her and finally the blood spewing like vomit out onto the field from her beautiful mouth.

Lily had once introduced him to a Muggle fairy-tale called Sleeping Beauty, about a princess who fell into a slumber lasting a hundred years when she was tricked by an evil fairy into pricking her finger on a needle. Sirius had never understood why any princess would do such a thing on purpose, but he had enjoyed the pictures in the book. Recalling how the princess' long blonde hair had fanned across the pillow in her sleep and the way her lips had been a rosy red; he thought that was exactly what Marlene looked like right now. A bag of blood was connected to the back of one hand resting on her chest and he noticed it rising and falling with every shallow breath in relief.

He perched on the edge of the bed and carefully held her free hand in his, noticing in concern how much colder her palms were already than just a little while ago when he had clung to her on the battlefield. "Marley?" he whispered; "Come back to me, please." Jessica's ominous warning rung in his ears when she didn't stir but Sirius shook his head firmly to ward it off. "Hannah needs you, okay? You-Know-Who has already taken everything else from the kid, she needs you to stay." Sirius didn't realize he was crying until a teardrop landed in the limp open palm of her hand. "I need you to stay."

 **A / N Before this story I never even really considered Blackinnon but my tragedy junkie shipper heart is falling in love fast. Enjoy! xx**


	4. Remember The Time

**Remember The Time**

Watching the blood drip steadily through Marlene's transfusion bag, every drop let Sirius cling to hope. He forced himself not to think of Carla's warning that it was probably fruitless, for that was simply unacceptable. She practically qualified as a coma patient with the amount of blood lost to the curse, but the longer he stared at her motionless figure the deeper into denial he seemed to fall. The Death Eaters had wiped out the entire McKinnon family in one brutal massacre four years ago, but she was supposed to be the one that made it through. He needed her to be a survivor, whether Hannah lived or not. Immediately Sirius hated himself for the thought and forced himself to think instead of the brave face she had put on the day she lost everything. It was the day he fell in love and for that reason even he would never forget it.

 _Hogwarts 1976 – Four Years Earlier_

 _As they often did when they were bored, James and Sirius were defying the rules of the late hour and sneaking down to the kitchens. Since it was exam season not many students sat up late in the common rooms, so the boys didn't even bother to use the Invisibility Cloak that night. When they reached the foot of the staircase to the boys' dormitory, they were surprised to hear hushed voices coming from the common room. Sirius peered around the corner to investigate, quickly pulling back into the shadows when the girl curled up on the couch turned her head suspiciously. "It's Marlene," Sirius whispered to James. "I think Hannah's crying. What should we do?"_

 _"_ _Poor kid," James muttered, straightening his glasses with a frown. "She is only six and watched her entire family die today, I can't even begin to imagine it. It's awesome that Professor Dumbledore let her stay here."_

 _"_ _Yeah," Sirius agreed faintly, peering carefully around the corner again. Marlene had Hannah's head in her lap and was stroking her sister's hair gently now. Suddenly he sensed James watching him with a knowing smile; "What?"_

 _"_ _You want to go out there, don't you?" said his best friend. "I'm sure Marley wouldn't mind the moral support. Do it!"_

 _"_ _But I…" Sirius began, trailing off when he realized there was no good reason for him not to give the girl who had always been more than just a friend a shoulder. "Damn it mate, you're good."_

 _"_ _I know," said James with a casual shrug, shoving Sirius out of the shadows. "See you later." His footsteps tapped back up the stairs to the dormitory just as Marlene turned to stare at the interruption._

 _"_ _Um…hey," he said awkwardly, cursing the way Marlene McKinnon was the only girl who could send his laidback attitude flying out the window. "What are you doing awake? It's late."_

 _"_ _You don't say," said the blonde sarcastically. "Hannah had a nightmare. She's been through hell today so making it better is my responsibility now. I won't fail her, I can't!" She had tried to keep up the sarcastic sass she reserved just for him, but something about tonight was dismally different. Her voice cracked on the last word and she returned to stroking Hannah's hair in a vain attempt to not let him see her hands shaking._

 _"_ _Marlene McKinnon does not do failure," said Sirius, pretending not to notice the tears as he perched the edge of the puffy couch beside her. "You'll be just fine, Marley. Anything I can do to help?"_

 _"_ _Can you stay?" she asked in a low voice, but the six year old dozing lightly on her knees stirred anyway._

 _"_ _Midnight parties are my specialty, haven't you heard?" he joked when the little girl sat up and stared at him with pale green eyes just like her sister's. "Hey Hannah, a little birdie told me that you've been having bad dreams."_

 _"_ _Yeah," said the six year old quaveringly. "Mummy told me to hide in the closet and now I can just hear her screaming. There were so many people in scary masks…when I close my eyes I see them, so many of them."_

 _"_ _Death Eaters," said Marlene, the rage flashing through her eyes when Hannah clambered onto her lap and clung to her like some kind of lifeline; "How is she ever going to get over this?"_

 _"_ _She will," said Sirius reassuringly, watching the small girl nuzzling against her sister's chest. "She's got you." He tapped Hannah lightly on the shoulder; "Hey Hannah, if I introduce you to a special friend of mine do you promise not to tell anyone? It's a very special secret."_

 _"_ _Okay, I promise," sniffed Hannah, watching him curiously. Sirius backed away from the couch into the middle of the room and met Marlene's reluctantly intrigued gaze. He pressed his finger to his lips and she nodded her agreement to keep his secret, more out of curiosity than anything. Sirius closed his eyes and spread his arms wide and before the girls could even process what was happening, a shaggy black dog stood where he had been seconds before._

 _"_ _Whoa, it's a dog," Hannah squealed in delight and moved around the coffee table separating them from the animal. The dog tilted his head towards Hannah and let her scratch him behind the ears for a moment. Then he turned and looked right at Marlene, whose jaw had dropped in surprise. The dog had Sirius' grey eyes and the affection on the animal's face almost took her breath away. The sixteen year old crouched next to her sister and felt the dog's fur easing her stress when she stroked his back. "He's so cute," sighed Hannah and it was the calmest she had sounded all day. "I can definitely keep this secret."_

 _Marlene let her sister babble on about the dog as she gazed into his mesmerizing eyes. "Thank you," she whispered and he nuzzled her hand affectionately. Marlene kissed the top of the dog's head, grateful that something had managed to help ease her sister's pain. The shaggy creature placed his paws on her shoulders in an undeniably human gesture and Marlene saw his fur begin to recede as he transformed back. In seconds Sirius was standing before her again with his hands braced supportively on her shoulders. "You're an Animagus?" she murmured faintly and he nodded. "But how is that possible?"_

 _"_ _That's not important," he told her, looking seriously at Hannah. "Remember Hannah, this is our secret, okay? Not a word to anyone, understand? I can get into a lot of trouble if you tell."_

 _"_ _I won't tell anyone," Hannah promised and the awe in her eyes warmed Marlene's shattered heart. "That was so cool." She glanced at her sister hopefully; "Can you marry him, Marley? We'll have our very own pet."_

 _"_ _Okay Captain Subtle, isn't it past your bedtime?" said Marlene quickly, flushing bright red. "Go back up to my bed, I'll be there soon." Hannah rolled her eyes and traipsed up the stairs to the girls' dormitory, leaving her sister staring awkwardly at Sirius. "That was amazing," she said fervently; "I didn't think anything could make her smile today. Thank you."_

 _"_ _Making people smile is kind of my calling," said Sirius coolly; "It's one of the reasons my family can't stand me, don't you know? Jokes aside, are you going to smile now? It's kind of beautiful, I need that smile."_

 _"_ _I'm totally smiling," said Marlene softly, the pink tinge in her cheeks complementing the grateful grin. "Clearly you have a gift, not being able to see it is your family's loss. Take it from the girl who lost almost everything today, you're special."_

 _"_ _I'm glad you specified almost everything in your losses there, McKinnon," he told her solemnly. "Because you'll never lose me, that's a promise. Life's too short, you know? If James can tell Evans he's crazy about her every day, I can bloody well do the same. I love you."_

 _"_ _Sirius," she whispered and now there were tears in her eyes. "I love you, I do…but you know I have to make Hannah my priority right now."_

 _"_ _Our priority," he corrected her. "Look Marley, I know it sounds crazy since we're only sixteen and all but I just wanted you to know that even with everything you two lost today, you still have family. When James and Evans inevitably get hitched I want you to be the one stomping on my toes on the dancefloor. Promise me that?"_

 _He swiped at the tears threatening to streak down her cheeks, just as she whispered; "I promise. You got one minor detail wrong though: you'll be the one stomping on my toes because I bloody well dance better than you, Black."_

 _"_ _If you insist," he smirked, silencing any more sassy remarks with an urgent kiss; "As long as you're mine I don't care how it goes down. Hannah's going to be just fine, you'll see. We'll make sure of it, all of us." And even though Marlene had lost nearly her entire family that day, clinging to Sirius in the dark common room she knew she had found one too._

Lost in his thoughts, Sirius almost felt he was imagining it when Marlene's slender fingers twitched in his grasp. Barely daring to hope he stared intently at her hand, willing it to move again. "Marley, can you hear me?" Her shaky exhale seemed a little stronger than before, but it wasn't until she groaned softly that Sirius dared to hope for the best. "That's my girl, stay with me, you can do this," he rambled encouragingly to egg her on.

But then Marlene lurched forward and vomited blood again, the sheer volume expelled as dangerous as before. Sirius gulped, feeling nauseous once more at the bright red fluid sprayed across the once pristine bedsheets. Even the Healers hadn't had the foresight to think it would keep coming up this intensively. That intern Carla had even given up on her, Sirius thought angrily, straightening Marlene's pillows behind her as she gasped for breath.

It took him a moment to realize that her pale green eyes were slightly open now. "Sirius," she said as urgently as she could manage, gripping his hand weakly. He stared at the tears leaking slowly from the eyes that had always been able to see into his soul. "Please don't let Hannah die," she begged feebly. "I-I was just…trying to keep her safe." Even in the desperately wheezy voice, her sincerity shone through and Sirius felt his heart crack at her next words. "She's…my…everything."

"I won't let anything happen to her, Marley," he whispered. "Because she may be your everything but you're mine, remember? Nobody's dying here, I won't have it!" But this time when her beautiful eyes shut, a devastating gut instinct told Sirius that they would never open again. Jessica's desperate cry warning Marlene that Hannah had stopped breathing on the battlefield rang in his ears as she slipped away, taking the shattered pieces of his heart with her.

 **A / N I was getting proud of myself for borderline fluff with that flashback then the end had to go and be all devastating again, typical xx**


End file.
